The next morning doctor came in to check my progress, only to feel a foot. A FOOT, are you kidding me!!! She flipped in the evening and was now breech. Doctor and I looked at each other and almost at the same time said, "Well did we really expect the delivery to be a smooth one...."
A few months later on my daughter's first birthday I was taken in and told I was bipolar on top of depression. I got a call from CPS in the hospital - they were taking my daughter from me even though I got help. I didn't understand anything.
My message to all mamas who are struggling is this, find your community! Reach out every day. We were not meant to do this alone, we need a village! The saying goes “It takes a village to raise a child” but I disagree. It takes a whole, healthy mother to raise a child. It takes a village to support her growth.
I tried for almost 5 years and finally I got pregnant - by natural means, though I was inseminated. The father of my baby is the man I have always loved, just that life brought us in 2 separate ways. He is the man I have chosen to be the father of my baby and he agreed to that and to all decisions I've made regarding the baby so far (he is just supporting from far away, as much as he can).
I will never forget what my husband and I refer to as the "Tuesday"'. I was sitting on the couch, my son was five days old, and I remember sobbing as I tried to latch my son onto my breast but due to his posterior tongue-tie he was having a hard time feeding. I sat there with my nipples bleeding, my son screaming, myself crying, and my husband crying! I remember looking over at him and saying, "What were we thinking?"
I went home with a catheter for 10 days. I was so happy the baby was fine but I wasn't. It was so uncomfortable. I googled like mad but only found the horror stories. They said after 10 days I would be fine. My bladder would have had a rest. I wasn't fine. I had to learn how to self catheterise.
You have a human, a very tiny human, depending on you to have it, and that it makes it soooo worth the stress, tiredness, and trying to figure out if you've had a shower. Just know you're one hell of a mom, and you're that baby's mom.
Just after bawling my eyes out to mum because I couldn't feed my baby and we had to go out and buy formula for him. I had my heart set on breastfeeding but I knew that all I wanted was for him to eat and then we could both have a decent sleep.
Hey mamas! I'm Katie. When you hit "submit" your story comes directly to me. I read each and every submission and will respond personally once your story is live on the site. I have been in birth work for 10 years and nothing has been more humbling than reading your words and holding this space.
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