Anonymous: The people I needed were far away. I had good days, bad days and really really bad days.

My Story: I had been home for about 3 days and it hit me, all I wanted to do was either sleep or cry. My husband was gone, my mom and sister in another state and my 8 year old in school. I wanted to just make it stop. I felt as if what was happening - I deserved. I was sad because I didn't understand what I was feeling. Unlike a lot of you, I really didn't feel I could call anyone and have them come help. The real people I needed were far away. It lasted approximately 3 to 4 weeks kinda on an off. I had good days, bad days and really really bad days. All I could tell myself was they need you, they only have you and you are the only one that can help yourself right now. With my newborn crying sometimes I would just stare at her thinking she could just possibly stop any minute. It took me a long time to realize what I was going through was more than just missing my husband and needing him too. 

I prayed so much for God to help me to help me see and search for the woman I was before I felt like this. I finally talked to my husband about how I felt I didn't sugar coat it and I didn't make it easy, I wanted him to know what I was going through, I told him it scared me sometimes knowing that women out there have lost it and done the unthinkable, I said "please help me". He quickly took time off work and together we dealt with it. Exactly a year later I started to feel like that again, sadness, emptiness, loneliness, I felt worthless. Being at home for almost 2 years it hit me again, I went from being a full time mom, a full time employee, a wife. To staying home with 4 walls. My social life was non existing and I decided that everyone annoyed me, even the calls or text. I had to pull myself back out of there. I don't know how I did it but if it wasn't for my kids and my husband and a lot of praying, I don't know where I would be.

Anonymous | San Diego, CA