My Story: I loved my second daughter, but wanted my first to be a little baby again

#PostpartumConfession | My Story: I loved my second daughter, but wanted my first to be a little baby again #breastfeeding #pregnancy #birth

My real story doesn't begin until my second birth. My first went well and, despite stitched up lady bits, I did well enough and I was happy. I was only overwhelmed for about a week.

My second birth was an easy delivery and recovery but I had so many more obstacles emotionally. I loved my new baby girl but I suddenly felt so guilty. I realized that I had been taking my first for granted and I regretted weaning her.

I wanted my first to be a little baby again. I wanted her cuddles and her nursing. I felt even more guilty that I wanted that from her when I had my second in my arms. It was just a mess.

After a few weeks of feeling this way, I finally came to accept that my first wasn't even interested in breastfeeding anymore but she still loved me and wanted my cuddles. She also still loved her sister and wasn't jealous at all. She was just independent and all of my guilt and bad feelings were in my head. My husband was very supportive the whole time and I think that is what helped a lot in the end. I cant say we're perfect by any means but our family is very happy now.

Marlana Moore | Lutz, FL | Mama to Fiona, 2 and  Lisanna, 3months

Posted on November 2, 2015 and filed under Postpartum Stories.