My Story: Mother - I was not worthy of being called by that name.

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#PostpartumConfession | My Story: Mother - I was not worth of being called that name #pregnancy #depression #postpartum

The experience of motherhood is beautiful, but for me I lived on the other side, the one that I do not wish for any mother to have to deal with: postpartum depression. 

I have been afraid of myself, of my grim thoughts, and to be alone at home with my children with the fear of potentially hurting them. The nice and sunny mama that was me had become a MONSTER Mom.

All of this made me shudder and feel ashamed of myself because cause a real mother only wants good for her children.

Mother: I was not worthy of being called by that name. 

Mixed feelings crowded my mind and my heart. I had the strength to cry out for help to my husband, to my family, and to a psychiatrist. I had moments of pure DESPAIR and sometimes I thought it would be nice to fall asleep and not wake up....but there were my children...they needed me.

I had such bad thoughts. I could not deal with them .... it was like a cat chasing its tail. 
After a year of ups and downs, I'm finally coming out thanks to the proximity of my
family, thanks to my will, and thanks to drugs and two doctors who follow me with love.

I wanted to share my experience so that my suffering and pain do not exist without a purpose. I WANT TO GIVE HOPE TO ALL MOTHERS EXPERIENCING PPD. WHAT THEY'RE THROUGH IS HELL. IT IS HEALING FROM DEPRESSION AFTER CHILDBIRTH.

Shame on those who did not believe me. No mother should have the feeling and be ashamed of them, nor should she be ashamed of the desire to get help.

I got it done. And the sun came back to shine on me. It can shine for you too, 
-Affectionately Rosetta - a mom, but not perfect

Rosetta | Italy

Posted on December 2, 2015 and filed under Postpartum Stories.