My Story: Paige Liller

My Story: I was in the hospital after having my son and a part of me did not want to leave. I was getting cared for so well by all of the lovely nurses. I knew when I would get home the nightmare of postpartum would start and the only one caring for me would be myself. I wouldn't have a nurse to lead me to the bathroom or to make sure I'm feeling alright. It would just be my husband sleeping through everything and me full of anxiety and sleep deprived. Mind you I have two babies on top of my son. Two girls; the oldest is 3 and the youngest is 13 months. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack from all of the stress. On top of not having sleep I had to worry about waking my kids up at a decent hour so I could get them fed and changed and make sure they are taken care of properly. As I cared for my daughters, I was SO grumpy with them and I found myself screaming a lot and it wasn't their fault. It was just because I was so tired. I was breastfeeding full time so my nipples were bleeding and every time I fed my son I would have to curl my toes from the pain in my nipples. That was horrible. I would call my mom and tell her how I couldn't survive this and how I needed her to move in with me for a few weeks to a month. Of course she couldn't and I knew that. I was so overwhelmed. I knew what I was feeling was normal with the baby but I also knew that a lot of moms don't have a 13 month old AND a three year old on top of their newborn so I was driving myself into a panic attack. My blood pressure was 158/88 when I checked it and it's normally (118/70 around that area). I thought I was going to die!!! Well I am now 3 months postpartum and things are finally starting to get back to normal and I am sleeping through the night so things are starting to level off. Now I am in the stage where my hair is falling out lol but you are not alone! We women have to support each other through everything!!

Paige Liller | Carlisle, PA | Mama to Marina - 3, Ariana - 16 months, Delbert IV - 3 months

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