My Story: Unexpected natural and, quite frankly violent birth

#PostpartumConfession | My Story: Unexpected natural and, quite frankly violent birth #birthstory #postpartumdepression #breastfeeding

My Story: I hurt from an unexpected natural and, quite frankly violent delivery. It was from 0-10 in less than two hours, and only ten minutes after arriving at the hospital with me vomiting the whole way to the delivery room. Never planned on natural, would NEVER do that voluntarily. Maybe it is different if you train for it for months. However, bruised, blown apart, emergency surgery within minutes thereafter for a ripped cord, I went home with the new bundle of joy, and almost starved him in a week, because I didn't know I didn't have enough milk (failed there too).

No sleep, constant crying (both of us) and no family to help (my husband was more hindrance than help, as he was totally lost as well, and escaped back to work two days later). I am amazed I made it, (and have two!) but feel I missed out on so much just trying to survive it.

Every time my OBGYN, and pediatrician looked at me and said, "isn't it wonderful?" I smiled and concurred, as I felt evil, unnatural, and crazy to be thinking otherwise. Please, please, please if someone nearby has a baby, ESPECIALLY if they are new in town, drop them off a casserole, some soup, or even just milk and cereal. It will give you a chance to look into their eyes, and know woman to woman, if they need more. Maybe just an hour of sleep could make all the difference in hers, and the new bundles world.

It would be a very wise and wonderful thing, if pediatricians and OBGYN's provided you with a survey afterwards to really gauge where your head is. Goofy "aint it grand?" questions do not seek out potentially dangerous situations. I had many dark moments, a terrible place to be in with what I know now to be a true blessing.

Anonymous | New York

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