My Story: What mom in her right mind thinks that? I berated myself.

My Story: It was 1987 no one told me about postpartum depression, I had just given birth to my first son and moved to California when my then-husband had to go out to sea for 2 weeks leaving me home alone in a new town with a new baby. I was so very very tired, depressed,confused and trying to learn how to be a mom all alone when my symptoms started. I started having bizarre thoughts like if I threw my son hard enough he would clear the parking area and roll into the freeway! What mom in her right mind thinks that? I berated myself because of those thoughts and accused myself of being an unfit mother not knowing it was a CLASSIC symptom. I wasn't in my right mind, thank god I had enough insight to right this thinking,I slept when he did and slowly I was getting better. I never acted or hurt my child but to this day I still feel guilty for even thinking what I did.


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Posted on September 18, 2015 and filed under Postpartum Stories.