My Story: I became a mom in 2004. My water broke at 2:30 am the day before Thanksgiving. I headed to the hospital with my mom. I had no contractions. I got to the hospital and the confirmed my water had broken.
After 3 hours with zero contractions, I was induced. I spent 30 agonizing hours in some intense pain, nausea, and full on agony before they called my doctor and scheduled an emergency cesarean section.
My body was so weak from not only the labor, but lack of food. I was in and out of consciousness while my child was born.
I immediately passed out after he was born. I did not hold my child for the first 5 hours of his life. I spent 4 days in the hospital unable to stand up straight... All of this with no one there with me.
I was discharged and came home, still barely able to walk, with a newborn. No one stayed with me, no one helped me.
I could not even think of breastfeeding as I had to go back to work as soon as the doctor would let me as I was the sole provider for my son.
I had severe postpartum depression. I was not very connected to my son. I loved him, but was so exhausted and just wanted someone to help me so I didn't have to do it alone. My family pitched in here and there with child care, but my son was, essentially, born with ADHD. He slept about 6 hours a day. That was it.
I made the worst choices within the first 2 years after he was born. I moved away from my family for a man. I denied I had any problems.
Then I decided I needed to have another child. Which only compounded my depression.
I found myself in a toxic relationship with a man I didn't love just because I didn't want to be alone.
I finally found the strength to get help. And then I was alone raising two boys. It wasn't easy.
But those boys are my world. I finally met a man that loves me and my boys and I got the help I needed to break free of the postpartum depression.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how bad things seem.
Anonymous | Florida